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Frankenstein (Brown goes in for breeding champion St Bernards - and at last succeeds.) "Well, you ought to be happy, now, Mr Brown! He is a splendid specimen!" "Happy! I'm the wretchedest man alive! Why, he's so beastly fond of me, that if I leave him for five minutes be howls the house down! He require six hours' exercise per diem, and won't stir out of the house without me! He won't touch a morsel of food unless I feed him with my own hand, and he wants feeding all day! My wife won't have him in the bedroom because he snores so, and I have to sleep with him in the pantry! We've had to send all the children to school, because he's so frightfully playful with the children! Not a soul comes near us, because he always insists on giving his paw! And when I beat him, he just sits like patience on a monument, smiling at me! By George, I've half a mind to go and bury myself in the snow, where at least he'll never be able to find me again!" [Exit with his keeper.