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"Sermons in Stones." Tourist (of an inquiring and antiquarian turn). "Now I suppose, farmer, that large cairn of stones has some history?" Highland farmer. "Ooh, aye, that buig o' stanes has a gran' history whatever!" Tourist (eagerly). "Indeed! I should like to - ?What is the legend?" Farmer. "Just a gran' history!" (Solemnly.) "It took a' ma cairts full and horses sax months to gather them aff the land and pit them ther-r-re!!"