Michael Heath Cartoons (248 images)
Punch cartoons by Michael Heath. Critically acclaimed master of social and psychological cartoons, Heath casts his eye on relationships, class conflict, professions, law and order, childhood, technology, art and music.
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Buy a Punch cartoon with "Buy Download / Print / Product" to price for Licenses, buy exhibition quality Prints or Jigsaws choosing the...
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"Jazz is back!"
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"Nine light years from home, and now you...
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"Dear Santa, What I would like for Chistmas: I...
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"I say, isn't that Owens v. Jones."
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"Of course, quads were quite a shock at first."
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(man staggering across a desert passes a 'no...
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"Don't take any notice of them - they're doing...
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"Mummy! Mummy! Daddy's batteries have run out!"
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"It's only my father, he'll be gone in a minute."
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"It's what he asked for."
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"Will you be paying by cheque, credit card,...
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"We'll never get rid of her - the only way we...
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"He sold out years ago."
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"You've overdone the aftershave again."
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"The thing to remember is that you must use a...
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“Have you tried drink?”
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“For the first time in your life you’re...
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“We’ll still see each other. It’s just...
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“Basically you’re not bad, it’s just that...
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(Liechtenstein painting falling off gallery...
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“If you must know, he’s a right bastard to...
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“The exercise bike was killing me.”
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"You will be taken from here to a place where...
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"So I give this geezer two years - mind you, I...
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"I started work this morning. I've now made so...
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“I just heard the most wonderful news from...
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“What does it matter what it’s for? I’ll...
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“You dirty bastard!”
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“Look out! It could be a trap.”
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"Now this is Mr Bevis, he's our sound expert."
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"He has your greed, darling."
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"Your sexual desires are so odd that I suggest...
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"Listen, you don't know much about art but we...
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"Look, I'm sorry you're so depressed, dear, but...
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"My client only took to crime because he wished...
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"Phew! Thank goodness for that - for a moment I...
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(Two thugs are playing table football, but...
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"It's just a question of the dog having a...
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"I think the jury has been got at, my lord."
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"See how we've trained them always to pick up...
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"I drank myself to death - now I'm rather lost...
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(A pig eating in a restaurant licks its lips...
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(An ugly duckling enters a door for cosmetic...
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Man looking for mislaid ball point pens
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"Father, do you remember sending me to learn...
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"Quasimodo, Quasimodo - that name rings a bell."
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"It was the only way I could stay in business."
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"I warned you about sniffing glue!"
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"The doctor says I can put him on take-away...
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"Why didn't you come in later? Now we're going...
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"It's another complaint, Doctor."
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"I think Smithson's on to something pretty big!"
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"Because there's nothing much to sing about,...
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"It's a terrific story! There's this woman in...
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"Tell me, Captain Ahab, is there someone else?"
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"God! Moriarty, you've got a way with you!"
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"I don't know why I married you, you've had no...
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"You amaze me, Jekyll. If I lived alone, I...
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"Oh, don't take any notice of me, I'm just a...
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"I'm sorry they're dead, but at least it proves...
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"As you can see, we've trained them to test...
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"I've asked you here because I want a divorce."
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"The first thing you've got to learn is to relax."
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"Will he be a success?"
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"Well, yes, you are an emergency. We'd like to...
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"There's nothing physically wrong with you -...
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"That's the trouble with you men, all you want...
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(Man in street with placard: "Will show...
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"'Ere, look - you can stick things with it!"
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"I blame television for all the violence -...
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"I can't understand why humans use cosmetics -...
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(Children watching a seaside Punch & Judy show...
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"Well, I don't know why you're so unhappy -...
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"Oh, I just got kinda fed up with the flying...
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"I want you to take these tablets and lay off...
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"Well, we've got the final report on your...
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"Still not smoking?"
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"You've lost seven pounds since you were last...
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"Save your marriage, dear?"
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"He managed to last out until his season ticket...
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"I can't stand him, really, but I quite like...
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"Like a good time, dear?"
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(A couple are looking in the window of a shop...
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"It's the latest thing in watches - you wind...
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"We were going to get a fall out shelter, but...
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"When I worked for the National Health, I used...
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"We warned you about smoking when you were...
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(A hibernating bear has his alarm clock set to...
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"I find that whenever I send the wine back,...
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"Not even the colour supplements want to know...
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"There you are, sir - I don't suppose more than...
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"Look, Dad, I've made the Mary Rose out of...
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"Just where are they pinching you, then?"
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"We're very worried, doctor - he just won't...
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"He claims it's an executive toy."
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(A Groucho Marx lookalike beggar holds a sign...
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"Congratulations, Dr Weaser - you've trained...
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"It's disgusting the sort of people you see...
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"The reason I didn't have any trouble this year...
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(A group of women taking their marks for a race...
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"Hurry, dear - I think standards of taste are...
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"Do you think it was wise to invest £20.00 in...
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"Thanks to the good news fairy, you're in the...
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"Now, about YOUR overdraft!"
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The Bag Lady
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"I think she's Ringo Starr's mother's second...
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Reminiscing about the Beatles
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"It just says he was born in Bloomsbury in 1881...
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(A man looks into a toilet bowl from which an...
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"OK, so it won't be a good time, but it'll take...
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"Now Sutherland, about that painting."
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"I'm afraid I must replace you, Miss Thomas -...
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"It's a super job offering security and a great...
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"I love the traditional unspoilt British Pub."
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"You're a disgrace to the National Front."
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"Your last commercial was great. Do you think...
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"Hey, Mac! You wanna see some pictures of the...
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(Scotsman at home, with a miniature Loch Ness...
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"That was fun - we must do it again sometime."
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"Any previous experience at being a drudge?"
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(A father is handed a ransom note by his son...
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(A protest march with a man carrying a sign...
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"I've told you the facts of life, now here's...
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"Well, if Teddy refuses to pay alimony to...
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"I've spent most of my life wishing I could...
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"Ok, I'm sorry I've been neglecting you - we'll...
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"Gives you protection against being caught...
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"I understand you've written a book on how to...
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(Hansel and Gretel arriving at a 'gingerbread...
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"A man in Liverpool got a job today."
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"'Which?' said that, value for money, this set...
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"Didn't he write all those kitchen sink dramas...
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"I'm looking for last weekend."
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"It's the dustman, dear, and I'd run out of...
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"You wouldn't have any trouble if you did what...
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(A glue-sniffing punk listens to a radio from...
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"As you can see, we're very humane in the way...
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"Why, Miss Bates, has anyone told you how...
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"Stop looking so smug!"
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"Mummy, when you say I mustn't speak to strange...
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(A man looks at a London Underground map that...
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"Listen, everybody! Don't you understand? I've...
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"I make money selling pot to send my son to...
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"Of course, its ugly - everybody looks ugly...
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Going into managing director's office
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(A woman buys frozen hot chestnuts at a...
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(A hand grasps out from a pile of pine needles...
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"It's a single-parent family and a social worker."
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"...mind the tree!... look out, don't hit the...
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"Now, this is what I want next Christmas."
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"Quite a good Christmas, really - my new Mum is...
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"Me and Lefty go in, Sid's lookout, Spud's...
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"It's not really for sale - we just don't see...
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"Male chauvinist pig!!"
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"Sisters, let's leave the men to their mindless...
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"I demand to be mugged by a woman!"
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(Feminists on a pro-abortion rally. One of the...
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Daily Bleat. Fleet Street's First Woman...
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"You can turn it off now Christmas is over."
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"It's electronic - it goes up and down without...
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"It's all right for you - at least you get out...
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"What's that new window-dresser's telephone...
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(A bar in the tropics has the cartoon character...
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"Mind you, sir, it needs a bit doing to it."
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(A man in a pub wears a T-shirt with the slogan...
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"It won't bring the Government down but it's a...
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"So long as it doesn't prolong active life, I...
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"All those in favour say, 'arrrrrgggh!'"
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"It's a royalty cheque from that newsreel of me...
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"Isn't it amazing how they travel five thousand...
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"We don't have a graffiti problem since we told...
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"I think you will find it a very unassuming...
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"You're going to have to learn that you cannot...
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(A scene in a public toilets where a football...
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"Business appears to be looking up."
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Believe it or not...
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MaxiHeath. "OK, You can come out now - the fuzz...
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"Where are you darling?"
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"There's somebody in there at the moment - when...
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A Week in Fashion is a Long Time...
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"I'm sort of Woody Allen without the humour."
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1973 things to come
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"I think he's trying to tell us they're closing."
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"I don't care if all the other boys do it -...
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"It was terrible, I tell you! It all started as...
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"I can't get '79 at all - are we still going to...
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"I know I'm not Jim, but I am Jim's accountant,...
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"It's all right, Mr Grange, I'm no longer a...
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(A prisoner in the electric chair is brought a...
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"The only hope for peace now is if the...
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(A man considers inserting a miniature life...
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"Mind you, TV panel games seem to be more fun...
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(A football bounces through the open window of...
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"I'm trying to give it up - have you got any...
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"It was Marjorie's idea to buy it. Now we're...
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"You can't take him back to the adoption...
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"OK, so I'm fit, now what?"
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(An exhibition in the Tate Gallery of Graham...
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(A girl stands on a speak-your-weight machine...
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"I don't normally give lifts."
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Tunnel of Reconciliation
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"It was very cheap to put on. Half the cast...
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"You're a man - you must have some idea what I...
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(Feeding time at restaurant: waiter throwing...
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"Is it all over?"
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(A cinema on Mars advertises a science-fiction...
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"That I should have lived to see it, a son of...
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"Well, at least let me make a doll's house, then."
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"It's a supplementary rates demand!"
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"I still see my ex-husband once a week. He's a...
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(An inner city street has a sign on it reading:...
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"Have you anything that will uncontrol...
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"He says it's morning sickness. I say it's a...
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(Santa Claus has two sacks, one labelled...
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"Another batch of joggers, I see."
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"It's what everyone's wearing in this hot...
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"We've done it, Marjorie, a perfume that...
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"We had a really awful holiday, so we borrowed...
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"And how would you like your husband done, Mrs...
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"Er...the woman at the back with the bomb in...
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"Gee, honey...Warfarin! Smells good!"
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"It's Doctor Androcles. He's a thorn in the...
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(An overwieght man looking at a cornucopia with...
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(A boxer practices his punches on the deely...
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"Oh, sure - I've got a tree house in the...
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"I had no idea that freeloading was a sin!"
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(The conversations of the chattering classes at...
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(Yojimbo) Toshiro Mifune as Sanjuro, Eijuro...
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“He’s such a snob he’s changed his name...
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(A flasher with an 'I love you' sign hiding...
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“Well, Miss Fanshaw, I’ve been seeing you...
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"I wandered lonely as a cloud..."
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"I understand he's wearing a British corn...
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"Do you think there's somewhere up there where...
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"Now just play as you like play on your own -...
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"I was potty-trained too early, that's why my...
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"I said this number's based on Brahms' Lullaby."
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"They're very committed to Mao but China...
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"Are you sure tonight was bingo night?"
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Punch (Front cover, 28 July 1971)
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"Thanks for the advice."
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"Mr Frater?! Mr Heath?!"
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"Remember me, we used to play in the...
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"I wish I'd been a mod like you - my toupees...
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"My old man says they can bring back the...
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"I wish the Fifties were back - I'd be twenty."
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"Do I miss Charlie Parker? I even miss Monty...
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“It’s the same after every...